


Book of Ficlets

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: Da Vinci's Demons
Genre: 3 Sentence Ficathon, 3 Sentence Fiction, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - The Road to El Dorado Fusion, Alternate Universe - Twins, Angst, Comment Fic, Community: gameofcards, Community: trope_bingo, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Dialogue-Only, Episode s02e09 The Enemies of Man, Ficlet Collection, Gen, Historical Inaccuracy, Homeric quotes, I Blame Tumblr, Illustrations, Kittens, M/M, Multi, Poetry, Prompt Fill, Riario is a biter, Season/Series 02, Threesome - M/M/M, Timeline What Timeline
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-18 21:39:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 12,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5944009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Da Vinci drabbles, Florentine ficlets, serpentine shorts...one-off ficlets, mostly for fic meme prompt fills. Some posted previously to Tumblr. Various characters/pairings - details in chapter titles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Things Unspoken - prompt: Leo/Riario, Things You Didn't Say At All

Things Unspoken: AKA those adorable idiots should use their words.  
Dialogue in quote marks is from the original scene near the end of the episode "The Enemies of Man", as the ship nears land. Italics are all the things that are not said, but should have been. And I made myself sad writing this one :/

 

"You're going back to Rome?" _How can you walk away after all we've been through, back to that prick you call Holy Father?_

"Without the Church, I…well, I'm nothing." _With you, it might be different. You survive by faith in yourself, and you could teach me. But for all your talk of the unimportance of gender, you never once took me in your arms._  
"I will place myself entirely at the Pope's mercy." _I would give myself entirely to you, artista, if you'd only ask_

"You do realize Sixtus may show you none?" _You're an idiot. But if that's what you think you want, who am I to argue?_

"Perhaps that's what I deserve for worshiping false idols." _For having more faith in you than in God. For falling for you, artista._

\---"Land ho!"---

"It's felt surprisingly civilized to be your ally." _Ask me to stay. Tell me we can continue to work together and I will stay at your side. Why don't you give me that choice, that chance, Leonardo?_

"Well, we may have survived this journey together. But in a few moments, any alliance we may have had will come to an end." _If you've chosen Rome, then we cannot work together. I wish you'd chosen Florence. I wish you'd chosen **me**. Why are you so damn stubborn, Girolamo?_


	2. Shopping - prompt: Leo/Riario, Grocery Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue only modern au.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My head canon (or [fic canon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3700773/chapters/8188673)) is that Riario is good at shopping, gets the things on the list, phones Leo if he needs to get an alternative item, only buys the useful things that are on special offer. Whereas Leo is terrible. He runs around the supermarket buying ALL the things except the things he was supposed to get, and is easily distracted by the special offers.

"No."

"But Girolamo, they're on offer…"

"No. We don't even have a dog! And don't make that face at me."

"But –"

"We both know I'd end up looking after a puppy, and you're enough work, Leo."

"Fine. I'll put the biscuits back. Oh, look, there's a new chocolate bar!"

"All right. Just one of them though. Last time you brought a four pack, hated them, and had to feed them to Zo."

"You like when I feed leftovers to Zo."

"Yes, it's something he's useful for. Ha; he's practically our puppy and at least he walks himself."

"Aw, that's sweet."

"It's not supposed to be sweet, Leo."

"I don't know. Your dog references about Zo have been nicer lately, like talking about how loyal he is."

"I don't know what you're talking about. And five pizzas are all that will fit in the freezer, put that one back. And kindly put my steaks back in the trolley, thank you. You know what, maybe we should get a cat."

"You do strike me as more of a cat person. But why?"

"Because cats are obligate carnivores and he and I can share steak without you being judgemental."

"Wait, wait, do this aisle, we need beer."

"I thought you got some yesterday."

"Yes, but Zo's coming over tonight."

"Better get the large box then. Freeloader."

"Last time he brought beer you said it tasted like horse piss. So now we have to buy the beer. It's your own fault for being a snob, Girolamo. So, can we really have a cat?"

"No."

"Spoilsport."

"Shut up or you're paying for all this."

"You know you love me."

"Lucky for you that I do. And now you've made me miss the aisle with the dishwashing tablets."

"I'll go grab them."

"Just the tablets, Leo."

"Yeah, yeah."

"*sigh*".


	3. Family - prompt: Leo and Riario, Family gatherings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> modern au, established relationship, time to meet the parents

-i-

"He'll hate you," Riario said. "You're not a suitably-bred, exclusively heterosexual white woman, and so you lose by default."

"Fathers tend not to like me for all sorts of reasons," Leo said, tying back his hair. "But you said we needed to do this."

Riario sat down on the bed, his tie loose in his hands. "I changed my mind."

Leo took the silk from Riario's hands, thought about how much more fun it would be to use it to tie Riario to the headboard, reminded himself he was on his best behaviour, and slipped it around Riario's neck instead.

"A couple of hours," Leo said. "I'm sure we can manage that."

They were meeting at a restaurant rather than the house. Riario had insisted, hoping it might reduce the chances of his father making a scene.

Leo knotted the tie. Riario rolled his eyes and re-did it himself, more neatly.

*

Later, Riario had to admit it wasn't Leo's fault, exactly, though somehow things did seem to catch on fire around him rather frequently. Though Riario couldn't be too angry, given that he'd grown so upset at his father's insulting remarks that he'd been fantasising about stabbing his father with a fork. Also, Riario hated that place, but it was his father's favourite, and now they were all banned, which made him rather happy.

"Wasn't so bad," Leo said, tossing his clothes on the floor and climbing into bed. Riario, neatly folding his shirt and placing it on a chair, gave him a sideways look.

"Wait until we meet with your father," he said.

 

-ii-

"I'm not sure I understand," Piero said.

Riario took a long sip of his wine before he could say it again. "I love your son."

Piero gave him a disapproving look. "I think you're serious," he said. "I just don't understand why, when you could do so much better."

Riario almost choked on the merlot. There were no forks to hand, which was probably a good thing for Piero.

"He's always saying things like that," Leo said, a too bright smile on his face. "Aren't you, father?"

Piero frowned. "Haven't I told you before not to drag people down into your madness?"

Riario slammed down his glass. "I will not listen to this. Your son is a better man than you give him credit for, sir, and I assure you, he is not dragging me anywhere I do not want to be!" He got to his feet. "Leonardo, I'd like to go home."

Leo gave a what-can-you-do shrug and stood, slipping his arm around Riario's waist as they left the restaurant.

*

"You really do love me," Leo said, pressing kisses to Riario's chest as they lay in bed that night.

"Of course I do."

"No one has ever told my father off like that before."

"He deserved it."

Leo moved to claim Riario's mouth.

-iii-

Andrea came to the front door first and hugged Leo. Then he greeted Riario warmly, pulling him into a hug too before he could protest.

"He's a pretty one," Andrea said to Leo, adding with a wink, "He tells me such stories about you, Girolamo. How you are so smart and how patient you are."

Zo and Nico were building a snack pyramid at the dining table despite Vanessa's protests and she gave up on them, bringing a bottled beer and a glass of red wine over to the new guests. She exchanged the drinks for cheek kisses.

"Dinner won't be long, which is good because the snacks aren't going to be much good for eating now."

"That's my bad, I made us late," Leo said. "I wouldn't let Girolamo put his clothes on."

"Well I understand that," Vanessa agreed, heading back towards the kitchen.

"Leo," Zo called. "Come and tell us about the blaze you caused at that restaurant."

"It wasn't a blaze, it was a small conflagration caused by the presence of multiple flammable sources," Leo began, heading over to hug Zo.

Andrea clapped Riario on the shoulder. "I heard that Piero thinks you can do better," he said. "But we both know that's not true. Leo's a good boy. Difficult, sometimes, but worth all the effort."

"Everything I give he returns to me ten-fold," Riario said softly and then took a gulp of wine.

"Come, come, "Andrea said, leading Riario over to the table and seating him between Leo and Nico. "We will eat and drink and make merry, until we have an argument over whichever board game you boys decide to play." He winked and headed off to help serve up the food.

"Pictionary's banned," Nico told Riario. "And Zo cheats at Scrabble."

"Do not!"

"And I think Leo's memorised most of the Trivial Pursuit cards."

"Poker," Leo suggested.

"Not a board game," Zo protested.

"Charades," Nico said.

"Still not a board game."

Leo put one hand on Riario's knee. "This is also my family," he said, while Zo and Nico continued to bicker. "Yours too, if you'll let them be."

Riario nodded. "I'd like that."

Leo kissed him.

"Save something for dessert," Zo advised, and Nico threw a sausage roll at him, which nearly hit Andrea in the face and landed in the gravy jug he was carrying instead.

*

"I think if we have to have dinner with our biological fathers again, there should be a rule," Leo said, lying alongside Riario with a gleam in his eye. "The rest of my family should also be present."

Riario thought about Alessandro's eye twitching at the sight of flying sausage rolls, of Piero's dismay at watching Leo playing Strip Battleship with Zo. He smiled and leaned over to kiss Leo.

"That sounds like the best idea you've had in a long time," Riario said.

"Not as good as the one I'm having now," Leo said, and he was incorrigible and insatiable and Riario didn't mind one bit.


	4. Loss – Leo/Riario, prompts: sadness, hope.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Modern AU. After a fight with Leo, Riario is missing and despite Vanessa's attempts at comfort, Leo fears the worst. For the writerverse prompts Sadness and Hope.

"We'll find him, Leo." Vanessa put her hand on his shoulder but he moved away, which worried her. Leo always let her comfort him. His refusal now suggested he didn't think he deserved it.

"He hasn't been to work, he's not at his apartment, he hasn't taken his car or his phone." Leo shook his head. "Maybe he was kidnapped, though there's no sign of a struggle. It's not as if he doesn't have enemies, as if he hasn't been attacked before. But maybe…"

"Leo." She sat down on the stool next to him. The kitchen table was filled with photos and maps and sketches and everything else Leo had gathered up in his initial desperation to do something to find Riario.

"It wouldn't be the first time he hurt himself," Leo said.

"That was different. His father had threatened to disown him, he didn't have you…"

"He doesn't have me. That's what he thinks."

Vanessa sighed. "You can't read people's minds, Leo."

"But we'd had a fight, and I'm not even sure what about. Something small and stupid. And he was angry at me, and I said 'I'm not talking to you until you calm down'. What if that's the last thing I ever say to him? What if the last thing I ever did was hang up on him?" Leo glared at his phone, as if it had been the one to cause the rift.

"We'll find him," Vanessa said.

"Or the police will find his body."

"Stop it," she said, blinking away tears. "Stop being morbid, Leo. It's not helping anyone. I'm going to make more tea. Zo and Nico will be here soon, and you can talk us through these maps of all the places you think Riario might go to clear his head. We'll split into pairs and search them all. You have to have hope."

Leo shrugged. "I don't think I can. Even if he's – if he's safe, I know we're not destined for happy ever after. Sooner or later we were going to split up. We're too different."

"I always thought," Vanessa said, filling the kettle, "you were rather too much the same. Including being stubborn and reckless. It's not as if you've never wandered off without so much as your phone or keys, Leo."

Leo, unable to argue with the truth, picked up a stack of photos he'd printed out, not trying to hold back tears as he looked through the evidence of happier times.

"Happy ever after is a lie," Vanessa said, letting the tea stand and returning to Leo's side. "You don't get to say 'I love you' once and it's done. If you both want it enough, you can have happy today, day after day, and that's the closest you'll get to ever after. And when we find him, you can try to have that."

She pointed to one photo, the whole group, Leo with his arm around Riario's waist, Vanessa leaning her head on Riario's shoulder, Zo with his hand on Leo's shoulder, and Nico crouched down in front, pulling a face. "That one's my favourite."

Leo nodded, shuffled to the next one. "I like this one, too."

Just him and Riario, a candid snap neither had known Zo was taking, but the look of devotion they were exchanging was unmistakable.

"I do love him. I don't say it enough."

It was a conversation they'd had, Leo and Riario, Riario and Vanessa, Leo and Vanessa, all three of them at once, over and over. Riario needed reassurance but Leo kept forgetting to give it.

The doorbell rang. Leo stared at the door, frozen in place. "What if it's the police?" he asked hoarsely.

Vanessa wiped at her eyes, put on a composed expression, and went to answer the door. A moment later she returned with Zo and Nico in tow.

"All right," Zo said, rubbing his hands briskly. He was wearing a waterproof jacket and stout shoes, ready to trek across fields and mountains if the need arose. "If he didn't take his car, and I've, er, let's just say I have it on reasonable authority that there's no evidence he's purchased train tickets or anything, then he can't have gone far."

"Unless he was kidnapped," Nico said. "And that they took him means they want him alive."

"There's been no ransom demand," Leo said.

"Maybe they're arguing over how much he's worth. I swear I'm going to put a tracker on him," Zo said. Leo didn't know it, but most of his jackets had been tagged since he'd once wandered off to sketch a lake and got caught in a storm, ending up lost and nearly hypothermic before Zo had found him.

Leo swallowed hard. "You really think he's alive?"

"Course he is. If nothing else, just to piss me off," Zo said cheerfully. Their antagonism had waned in the face of them both wanting to please Leo, but Zo never missed an opportunity to mention how much hatred he and Riario had once entertained for the other.

Leo got to his feet. "I'll get my coat," he said.


	5. Longing Glances – Leo/Riario, Laura – kiss him on the mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a [Tumblr post](http://leonardo-artista.tumblr.com/post/138338042814/the-party-pineapple-leonardo-artista) in which zephfair provided screencaps of the council of war and pointed out how much time Riario spends looking at Leo during it. I wondered if Laura might be jealous, and then the-party-pineapple suggested Laura might be a frustrated shipper and could tell Riario to "kiss [Leo] on the mouth", which seemed ripe for a slightly crack-y ficlet.

After the council of war had been dismissed, Laura drew Riario aside.

"Girolamo," Laura said, clutching his hand. "You take that young man to your room and you kiss him on the mouth, do you hear me?"

Riario blinked. "Signora?"

"You heard me. You spent that entire meeting either staring at Leonardo when he was talking, or seeking his approval whenever you spoke. Do you think I am blind?"

Riario shook his head, confused.

"I understand now. Since the day I arrived here all you have talked about is how _Leonardo is a genius, Leonardo has a unique mind, the artista will save us, Leonardo's inventions can defeat the Turks_." Laura shook her head. "Do you truly not see it?"

"See what?"

"That you are in love with him." She sighed. "It might only be lust, a shallow obsession, and I would not blame you. He is very pretty, though he lacks your elegance. Perhaps you can do something about his clothes."

"His clothing?" Riario said, lost.

"But it might be love," Laura said, as if Riario had not spoken, "and you should find out."

"Signoria, I am not in love with Leonardo, only with his mind."

Her expression softened. "Is that what you tell yourself? Because the Holy Father would whip you if he thought you were a sodomite? Are your feelings for Leonardo buried so deep you cannot accept them?" She pressed her free hand to his cheek. "You see me as a mother figure? Then listen to your mother. You take Leonardo to someone’s chambers, I don’t care whose, and kiss him on the mouth!"

She released him, folded her arms, tapped her foot.

Utterly bewildered, Riario went in search of Leo.

It didn't take long to find Leo, and Riario beckoned him to follow him. He chose the first empty room they came to and closed the door.

"What is it?" Leo asked. "Do you have concerns about the battle plans?"

Riario shook his head.

"Are you all right?"

He shook his head, took a step forward. Leo put a supportive hand on one of his shoulders.

"Girolamo?"

Riario swallowed, stared into Leo's hazel eyes. Such beauty, such concern for his wellbeing, such intelligence behind them. He leaned in and kissed Leo, hard, on the lips. He was breathless when he withdrew, expecting rage, maybe even a slap.

"Um. What was that for?" Leo asked carefully.

"Signora Cereta told me to," Riario said. "She thinks I'm in lust with you. Or love. And that I wouldn't know unless I kissed you."

Leo considered this. "And?"

"I don't know." It had been too rushed, more a clash of flesh and teeth, than a true kiss.

"Then maybe you need to kiss me again," Leo said. "Gently, this time. Not like you're trying to maul me. Here, like this."

Leo took the lead, and his lips were softer than Riario had expected and he was warm against Riario's mouth, one hand caressing Riario's cheek, Leo's stubbled chin brushing against Riario's own beard.

"Well?" Leo asked softly, when he pulled back.

"I'm still not sure," Riario said.

"Liar," Leo said, affectionately. "My God, Girolamo, why didn't you say something before? The voyage back home would have gone a lot quicker, for one thing, and I'd never have let you come back to Rome alone if we'd been fucking."

Riario paled. "That was merely a kiss. I – we cannot –"

"No," Leo agreed, slipping one arm around Riario before he could bolt for the door. "Of course not. Not yet, anyway. I can be patient."

"I have seen little evidence of that," Riario said, feeling on safer ground when it came to bantering with Leo.

"You've not seen me in love."

Riario frowned. "You are in love with me?"

"I'm still not sure," Leo teased. "But we can take our time finding out."

#

That evening, Laura cornered Riario in a corridor. "Well?"

"I did as you ordered," he told her.

"And?"

He lowered his gaze. "I fear you are right."

She gave a wan smile. "I thought as much. I have a deep and abiding affection for you that I hoped you might return, Girolamo. But I see your heart belongs to another."

"I regret if I have caused you pain."

"Don't be foolish. We cannot chose who we love. Besides, perhaps there is still some way I can be satisfied." There was a wicked gleam in her eyes.

"How so?"

"Given recent events, it would reassure me if I were to witness you and Leonardo as you experiment with this newly found affection," she said. "In case, there are any incidents."

Riario frowned. "You want to watch us?"

Laura nodded. "I do not think the artista will mind. He is somewhat of an exhibitionist, I wager. Talk to him. Then let me know. I will be in my chambers."

Riario watched her leave, and raised his eyes heavenward. He hadn't been looking for love at all, and now he was seemingly on the verge of a relationship and with an admirer of it on top. The worst of it was that Leo was an exhibitionist and wouldn't see anything wrong with the proposed voyeurism, while Riario was still struggling with the idea of letting Leo seduce him at all.

There was no point arguing though. Stuck between the determined Leo and the fearsome Laura, Riario might as well give now and let himself be swept along into their romantic and sexual plans.


	6. Kisses and Lies - Leo/Riario/Zo, The Godfather had oranges when people died, Da Vinci’s Demons has torches for when people are about to be murdered by Riario for looking at Leo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After kissing Leo, Zo falls victim to a jealous Riario's wrath - but there might be a solution to please all three of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a [Tumblr post](http://leonardo-artista.tumblr.com/post/139352506819/snake-eyed-monster) with a graphic by vinicitrice with Zo worried about Riario's reaction to Zo "carrying a torch" for Leo and the-party-pineapple's comment that "The Godfather had oranges when people died, Da Vinci’s Demons has torches for when people are about to be murdered by Riario for looking at Leo"  
> I swear I didn't mean for this to get so long. Also I blame the Tumblr DvD fans for making me ship Zo and Riario :P

Zo comes home one night and there’s a sinister torch burning on the wall, a torch he’s never seen before. Pinned to the wall next to it is a note “I know what you did”.

Zo’s blood runs cold. Shit. Someone has been watching him and Leo. They have seen him kiss Leo. On the mouth. Repeatedly. And there was some, er, fondling of the downstairs area. And that someone can only be Riario, Count and Captain General of Leo’s heart, feared enforcer and torch bearer. They say he kills his love rivals and burns their bodies, and if they’re lucky he does it in that order.

“It was just a friendly kiss,” Zo says desperately to the empty air. It’s a lie, but it might save his life, if he grovels enough.

There’s a noise behind him and Zo freezes as cold steel pricks the back of his neck.

“Do you kiss all your friends like that?” Riario asks, his voice barely a whisper in the cool night air.

“Sure.”

“Then I need you to show me such affection. We are friends, aren’t we, Zoroaster? Because I couldn’t kill one of my friends.”

That’s a lie too.

And now Zo is between a rock and a hard place and he really wishes he had not thought of the phrase “hard place” in conjunction with Riario. Does he agree they’re friends and kiss the count? Try to bluster his way out? Try to fight his way out?

What the hell.

“Of course we’re friends,” Zo lies. “Let me show you…”

Kissing Riario isn't the contest for domination he expected, nor the cold experience it might be. It's surprisingly gentle and warm and, so help him, arousing. It helps that Riario has sheathed his dagger, at least the metal kind.

"What's going on?"

Zo tries to pull away but Riario's hand darts out like a viper and holds him fast.

"Zoroaster was kissing me," Riario tells Leo, who entered while Zo was distracted.

"I see that. I don't understand why." Leo folds his arms but he's not angry.

Riario lifts one shoulder in a shrug. Leo gestures to the torch.

"Are you pulling this shit again? Nico still won't leave the Palace without a guard, you know. I never thought you would so jealous, Girolamo."

"I want you for myself," Riario says.

"And I wish you were willing to share."

Zo wishes he were anywhere else.

"If I were," Riario says silkily, lifting his free hand to cup Zo's chin, "it would only be with him. And he's mine too."

Leo nods. "Okay."

"Okay?" Zo splutters. "Do I get a say in this?"

Riario steps back, and does that thing Zo hates, where he's almost-but-not-quite touching Leo, like a goddamn possessive cat. "You have us both, or you have neither," he says bluntly.

Leo wraps one arm around Riario's waist, pulling him close. "What do you say, Zo?"

Zo throws his hands in the air, literally and metaphorically. "What the hell."

#

Later, Zo is lazing on the bed, drink in hand, watching Riario smooth Leo's tangled hair. This might actually work. And that doesn't feel like a lie.

He just wishes someone had warned him that Riario bites.


	7. Bed Sharing – Riario/Leo (& their cute little kitten) - “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a [fanfic meme](http://meridianrose.tumblr.com/post/139780741901/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you) the-party-pineapple gave me #6 “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”, Riario/Leo (bonus for mentioning their cute little kitten :D)

Their relationship relied upon a complicated series of compromises and uneasy tolerance that worked only because of the underlying passion and mutual affection. For instance, Riario only agreed to give up his own apartment after they had celebrated their first anniversary, and then only because Leo had two bedrooms.

One bedroom was Leo's, was _theirs_ , and this room had the double bed, and all Leo's clothes in it.

The other had a single bed. When Leo was tossing and turning or they'd had an argument or if Riario came in late and didn't want to disturb Leo, Riario slept here. It was _his_ bed, his refuge in the house that had been Leo's first and still felt more like Leo's than _theirs_.

It was also where Riario kept most of his clothes, safe from Leo's lackadaisical attitude to cleaning and storing.

So Riario was not best pleased when he came home to find Leo in the single bed, without any clothes on.

"Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?" Riario asked, crossing his arms.

Leo blinked sleepily. A tiny fluffy head poked out from under the covers and did much the same.

"I was looking for Amerigo and he was in your room," Leo said. "You've been working late all week and I think he misses you. He was sat on the pillow. Maybe he likes to be near you. Your scent."

Riario sighed. He sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to pet Amerigo. The kitten purred, bumping against his fingers. Maybe the cat had missed him, but not as much as Leo clearly had but refused to say. "And what about you being naked?"

"I wanted to keep Amerigo company, but it's cold in your room. It made sense to get under the covers, but you don't like me doing that even in our bed unless I take off my clothes."

"You could have put a clean t-shirt or pyjamas on," Riario suggested gently.

"I could, but I didn't."

Riario leaned over and kissed Leo's forehead. "You're changing these sheets tomorrow," he said. "I'm going to take a shower while you decide if all three of us can fit in this bed, or if we should take the double."

"The double," Leo said, sitting up and dislodging the kitten, who gave a disappointed yowl. "For such a little kitten, he takes up a lot of room."

"Yes," Riario said, dryly, heading for the bathroom. "It's the cat who takes up all the bed." Between Amerigo and Leo, even the double left him feeling short on space sometimes.

But he didn't mind nearly as much as he pretended to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be fluffy but it turned into a bit of an examination of their relationship and the delicate way it works.


	8. Untitled, Riario & Sixtus, implied Leario – comment fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For this [tumblr](http://romibsauce.tumblr.com/post/140037590395/weekend-assignment-create-a-story-using-the-three) picture prompt post, and originally posted [here](http://leonardo-artista.tumblr.com/post/140039776384), a comment fic written and posted unedited in about five minutes :)

“Hello, father,” Riario said, striding into the Vatican. “It’s been a while.”

“Come crawling back have you?” scoffed Sixtus. “Come to beg my forgiveness?”

Riario slid the leather gloves from his hands. “No, Holy Father. I have come to collect the rest of my things and to tell you in person about my new relationship.”

“You’re screwing the Cereta woman,” Sixtus said, stuffing a piece of apple into his mouth.

“No, dear _father_ ,” Riario said with a smirk. “I am screwing Leonardo. Quite frequently. We’re living together in Florence now and I’ve never been happier.”

Sixtus’s face went red. He tried to yell for the guards. Maybe he gave himself a heart attack or a stroke, or maybe he choked on the apple - fitting, Riario thought, if it were the case. Whatever happened, Sixtus slumped over the table, dead.

Riario sat down and helped himself to the spread. It seemed a pity to waste good food. His only regret was that he’d he had some rather explicit stories he’d wanted to shock his father with, and he’d never got the chance to relate them.


	9. TheMagical Stone - implied Riaro/Leo, Zo, Nico, Ima - for a picture prompt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part crack, part angst; for this [picture prompt](http://romibsauce.tumblr.com/post/140443415180/weekend-assignment-create-a-story-using-the-three) and originally posted [here](http://leonardo-artista.tumblr.com/post/140460117834/romibsauce-weekend-assignment-create-a-story)

The magical stone; legend said that it would make your soulmate find you and confess their love for you. Or that it would bring you love in some way. Or that you could use it make someone love you. Forever.

It didn't really matter which.

Riario had lied and taken risks and killed to get this far. The stone was his, the glittering orb within his grasp.

"You think you're getting your hands on that, think again," Zo cut in, stepping forward until Riario's grasp at his sleeve made him halt. "Probably just lock it away in the Vatican so no-one can use it, eh, you sanctimonious prick."

Riario swallowed his rage, pushed back his disappointment, wondered if it would make any difference at all if tried to explain to the mongrel what it was to grow up as he had. Unloved, unwanted, unworthy. If he served God, perhaps it was only because he had been told that God loved him. If he served the Holy Father, perhaps it was only in the hope of receiving some scrap of fatherly affection.

If he could have the stone, Riario could truly be happy. He could change his entire life. If the stone did find your soulmate, if it made Leo choose him, then he would know it was fate and not his fault, not a sin, not to be denied…

"You know not of what you speak," Riario began.

"What are they doing?" Nico asked, watching from nearby. Leo shrugged.

"Halt. I will be taking the stone," Ima announced, approaching with a battalion of guards. "And then the Dreamer will be mine."

Riario glanced at Zo and they both turned to face Ima. They would argue later, after they'd made sure Ima didn't get the stone. Leo might not be either of theirs, not yet, but they'd die before they let Ima have him.


	10. Stranger With My Face – Riario – Trope Bingo prompt "secret twin/doppelganger"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twins run in families…

"How long are you going to keep me here?" Riario asked.

The figure standing in the shadows, face hidden by a hood, shrugged. "For as long as we like. Your doppelganger is doing an admirable job of pretending to be you. He can keep doing it for as long as we desire. He has proved that he will do anything asked of him, without questioning motive or necessity."

It ate at Riario's soul that someone was out there, wearing his face, acting the part of Count Riario, and that no-one had noticed the difference.

When they'd captured Riario, after they had tortured him to uncover every last personal detail they wanted to know, they had left him alone in the dark for days. He had no idea how long it was, surviving on the meagre rations of bread and water they provided at irregular intervals, before they dragged him back out into the light.

"Girolamo Riario," a hooded man in dark robes had announced, while Riario strained at his bonds, making the effort even while knowing he was too weak to break free, let alone fight his way out of the situation. He blinked in the harsh daylight, tried to focus on the black-clad figure being led toward him.

"Meet Count Girolamo Riario," the man went on.

Riario stared in horror at his double.

"Twins run in families," the false Riario said. "As your father and uncle shared a womb, so it was the same for us. And yet here you are, Count and Captain General of the Holy Roman Church, while I was left to be raised by peasants."

The voice sounded wrong to Riario's ears, but the inflection was perfect. They must have studied him, learned his mannerisms. How long had his captors been planning this?

"What do you hope to accomplish?" Riario ground out through gritted teeth, his dry throat protesting at his words, his own voice rough with disuse.

"You are the Pope's right hand," the hooded man intoned. "If we influence him, we influence the world."

The false Riario stepped forward. Riario flinched as his double ran one knuckle down his cheek, over the unkempt beard. It was gentle, but the hint of affection only appalled him more.

Then the man tore open Riario's stained shirt, exposing his chest. Riario feared that this might be some last test for his twin, the denouement of their experiment. Riario would be killed and this imposter would take his place.

Instead the man took Riario's crucifix, slipping it over his own neck. He already wore the ring that had been taken from Riario's hand shortly after his capture.

"Are you going to kill me?" Riario asked.

"No," the hooded man said. "We might yet have some use for you. But know you see that escape is inadvisable. Even if you did somehow get free, you would be arrested on sight as an imposter."

Riario shook his head. Surely his father would not be fooled! Someone would notice that this man, no matter how much he looked like the real Girolamo, was not the same person that they knew.

The imposter bowed. "It was nice meeting you, brother," he said. "Thank you for the new life. I shall enjoy it, I think."

Riario didn't know how long ago that dreadful day had been. They'd put in a better cell after that, one that had a small barred window, and fed him slightly better and at regular times. They weren't going to kill him, not yet. He was no longer sure if permanent imprisonment was preferable to death.

"How long are you going to keep me here?" he asked, whenever the hooded man, the one he supposed was their leader, came to admire his prisoner.

The answer was always, "For as long as we like."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the trope bingo prompt "secret twin/doppelganger".  
> I left the timeline vague so you can imagine any scenario for the switch; pre-canon, the man who tried to defend his cousins swapped for the cold-blooded murderer, or between any two seasons, possibly as part of the Labyrinth plot, or any other time you can believe it possible.


	11. Untitled, Giuliano, Leo, Riario, implied UST Leo/Riario, picture prompt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crack fic for [this tumblr prompt](http://romibsauce.tumblr.com/post/140853310175/weekend-assignment-create-a-story-using-the-pics) and originally posted [here](http://leonardo-artista.tumblr.com/post/140917353849/romibsauce-weekend-assignment-create-a-story).

Riario was very proud of the device. It was a family heirloom, or at least he'd swiped it from the secret archives of the Vatican, which was much the same thing when your father was the Pope, or so he told himself.

It was beautifully crafted, but, tragically, the inner mechanism was broken. It spoke to Riario, and he wondered if the genius Leonardo might be able to fix it.

He wrote a letter, speaking of the piece and its need for repair, and sent it off to Leonardo. He didn't sign the letter. That was part of the puzzle, one he knew Leonardo would solve.

Unfortunately, due to a comical mix-up which Zo would still be living down years later, Leonardo found himself with a rare book meant for Giuliano while Giuliano de Medici found himself with an unknown device – a compass, he thought at first – and what seemed to be some sort of metaphorical love letter, if he was reading between the lines.

Giuliano set about trying to solve the mystery. He was no engineer but if he could discover more about the piece and the letter writer, he would be able to find someone suitable to repair it and then return it to its owner. Who would be grateful and possibly show their affection in some rather interesting ways.

(There'd been talk of polishing the smooth surfaces that made Giuliano, certain there was hidden meaning there, blush to think about it).

So Giuliano read books, pored over scrolls, sketched ideas, and doodled as he thought about the letter writer and the puzzle they had sent him, someone who recognised he was a man of intellect and passion and sought to woo him if he could prove his worth.

When he'd finished his plans, he took the device to Leonardo, because while the man was an insufferable ass, he was almost the genius he thought he was.

Leonardo didn't want to help at first, blocking himself from Giuliano's vision with a spoon. Giuliano resisted the urge to tell him where that implement would be going if he didn't cooperate.

"I should have known better than to ask the great artista," he spat, turning away so Leonardo wouldn't see the smirk on his face. "It is too complex for him."

Of course Leonardo couldn't snatch the device from him fast enough. He rolled his eyes at Giuliano's sketches but said he could definitely repair the device – no, improve it. Giuliano explained he just wanted it finished as soon as possible.

"Why is this so important to you?" Leonardo asked.

With reluctance, Giuliano handed over the letter. "I would prove that I am capable of the task this woman has set me," he admitted.

Leonardo's lip quivered as he read the letter. "I see. Well, yes, she does seem smitten, doesn't she? Rather a lot of poetic symbolism in there. Well educated. A count, er countess, or something, I'm sure. I'll get to work straight away and then you can see about returning the device and winning your admirer's heart."

Poor Giuliano had no idea that as soon as he'd left Leonardo's studio, Leonardo laughed until tears ran down his face. He had no idea that Riario was capable of such poetry, nor that he was so clever as to obscure his identity while giving so many obvious clues to it. He sobered up a little when he realised that maybe the letter and device had meant to come to him and not Giuliano at all. Maybe it was just poetry but Leonardo was inclined to side with Giuliano about the amorous intentions of the letter writer.

He shrugged it off. He could worry about it later. He had other things to do. First, fix the device. Two, suggest to Giuliano that the letter writer be summoned to collect it. Three, witness Giuliano and Riario's utter horror when they met. Four, laugh until he wet his pants.


	12. Anniversary, Leo x Riario, Sixtus, for a picture prompt at Tumblr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this tumblr picture prompt post](http://romibsauce.tumblr.com/post/141434709695/easter-assignment-create-a-story-using-the). Riario and Leo celebrate. Sixtus is in for a surprise. Crack. Warning note at end.

"What was that for?" Leo rubbed at his face.

Riario glowered. "For forgetting the date."

Leo's mouth fell open. "You owe me an apology," he said. "You'll make that slap up to me or you won't get the incredibly thoughtful gift I got you specifically for our anniversary."

Riario lowered his gaze, heat rising in his cheeks. "You remembered?"

Leo pulled him into a rough hug. "Of course I remembered," he said, kissing Riario's hair. That he remembered because it was two days before Zo's birthday and Zo had been reminding him about that for over a week didn’t need to be mentioned.

#

"Is that a body?" Riario asked, hostility colouring his voice again. "I got you one a few weeks ago for Rome's birthday because I thought you would appreciate the chance to brush up on your anatomy. I have no such inclinations."

Leo wasn't sure why they had to celebrate the birthday of Rome but if there were gifts then there ought to be Florence's birthday too, but the Medici family were ignoring his pleas on that front. Furthermore he thought Riario had put entirely too much thought into the gift, finding a corpse with a few very interesting anomalies, and throwing in a decent dissection kit.

"No," Leo said, still wondering if Riario enjoyed the idea of dissection more than he cared to admit. "Look."

Leo peeled back the sheet a little and Riario peered inside. His breath hitched.

"Is that what I think it is?"

Leo nodded.

#

"This way, father," Riario said, leading Sixtus to the dining table.

Leo moved to greet Sixtus and to kiss the papal ring. "I'm so glad you could visit us," he said.

"Well," Sixtus said, taking a seat and motioning for them to follow suit. "I'm anxious to see what you two have been working on all these months."

Leo choked on his wine. Riario kicked him under the table.

"I assure you it is quite the surprise," Riario said, expression carefully neutral.

Sixtus droned on for a while, occasionally trying to guess at the surprise they had waiting for him. Finally even he ran out of steam.

"Are you ready?" Leo asked. His left hand held a goblet, his right was clutching Riaroi's hand beneath the table.

Riario squeezed Leo's fingers and nodded.

Sixtus could only watch in horror as Leo moved to almost sit in Riario's lap, pressing his hands to Riario's cheeks and kissing him on the lips.

"What is this outrage?" Sixtus roared, but Leo was already standing back, smirking, while Riario reached for the object hidden beneath the table.

"It was our anniversary yesterday," Leo said. "Show him your gift, my love."

Riario came up holding a hand cannon, eyes wild, a maniacal grin on his face. "Say your prayers, mother fucker," he bellowed, and fired.

By the time the smoke cleared, there wasn't enough left of Sixtus or his guards to warrant anatomical study. One of Zo's acquaintances was a pig farmer who was happy to haul the remains away, though Leo and Riario did have to mop the floor rather thoroughly and burn the soft furnishings.

#

After a cleansing bath, Leo got into bed and waited for Riario to finish putting on his nightshirt – a fairly pointless activity in Leo's opinion, since he intended to remove it again shortly. Riario finally climbed into bed, pressing a chaste kiss to Leo's forehead.

"Did you like your anniversary gift?" Leo asked, pressing his hand to Riario's cheek.

"It's delightful," Riario said. He took Leo's hand in his and pressed a kiss to the palm. "I can't wait to see what you come up with next year."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character death (Sixtus).


	13. Bargains Are Good But Friends Are Better - Leo, Zo, curtain fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zo points out that Leo has no concept of the value of money or the necessity of haggling for a bargain. Crack, somewhat. For the trope_bingo prompt "curtain fic". Also posted at [LJ](http://meridian-rose.livejournal.com/509295.html)/[DW](http://meridian-rose.dreamwidth.org/511396.html)

"Where's the rest of the money?" Leo asked, critically examining the paintbrushes Zo had provided. He tested the fine bristles with his thumb.

"What money?"

Leo glanced at him. "The rest of the money. My change."

Zo folded his arms, laughed. "Seriously?"

Leo put down the paintbrush. "What's so funny?"

"You! For a genius you're a bloody imbecile half the time. Where's my change? You were actually short this time and I had to pay out of my own pocket. You're buying drinks later to make it up to me."

Leo frowned. "What are you talking about? I gave you plenty of coin."

Zo laughed again. "When was the last time you went shopping?"

"Last week."

Zo shook his head. "No, we went shopping, and I ended up carrying all the goods and paying for the goods and haggling for the goods so there would be change. You wandered around, poking at things and criticising them and buying random things. I had to remind you what we were actually there to buy, and I handled the actual purchasing."

"What are you saying?"

"You don't shop, Leo. I can't remember the last time you went shopping. You send me, or Nico, or take what you want from Andrea's supplies. You have no idea how much things cost." Zo sighed. "I know you're an artist and I sometimes think you inhabit some mystical realm where money is meaningless and vegetables present themselves ready prepared for your delectation and paintbrushes rain from the sky when you need them, but honestly, Leo, even you must know it isn't true. Even princes have some concept of the value of coin."

Leo sat down. "You think I'm out of touch with the real world?"

"Yes! I know, Leo, I know you can explain all about gravity and the tides and the migration of birds or whatever. But when it comes to people, to human customs, to the minutiae of everyday life, you're sadly lacking."

A smile tugged at the corner of Leo's lips. "Minutiae?"

Zo grinned. "I was pleased with that one myself."

Leo slapped his knees. "All right. You have shown me the error of my ways. Never let it be said that I am unable to learn and correct my course when needed."

Zo gave him an odd look. "What do you mean?" he asked, with foreboding.

"We're going shopping!" Leo stood and clapped Zo on the back. "You're going to teach me the value of coin, and the art of price negotiation, and the best way to find a bargain."

Zo felt he had no choice but to follow Leo out of the door, but honestly this wasn't what he'd had in mind.

#

Later, after the goats had been captured, and the goose shit had been washed out of their hair, and they had more carrots and tomatoes and charcoal than a family of eight could have used in a month of Sundays, Zo regretted ever bringing the subject up.

For his part, Leo went back to throwing shopping lists at Zo and Nico, and buying drinks at the tavern in lieu of bothering to navigate the market stalls himself. He knew the price of a tankard of good ale and the value of a good friend, and that was sufficient.


	14. Forbidden Fruit - Leo/Riario - trope bingo "forbidden fruit" and a picture prompt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riario worships Leo's hands, the only body part he will allow himself to touch. Leo knows they both want more but he'll be patient, all the while wondering what Riario might have been if not for the Church. More like Leo than he cares to admit.  
> For the [trope-bingo](http://trope-bingo.dreamwidth.org) prompt 'forbidden fruit' and this [picture prompt](http://romibsauce.tumblr.com/post/142459310945/one-more-weekend-assignment-create-a-story-using)

"Your hands," Riario said, tracing his fingers over Leo's palm, caressing Leo's thumb, flicking out his tongue and running it along Leo's index finger. "Hands that are capable of such great things, such creation."

He'd told himself it was Leo's mind he admired, only that abstract and beautiful thing. To treasure the unique consciousness was not wrong. It was akin to loving Leo's soul. It could not be sinful.

Yet Leo had aligned himself with Florence, with the sodomites, was an unrepentant sodomite himself. Leo was reckless and blasphemous, heedless of God's will, never the sober minded intellectual but always a freethinking genius. In every way, Leo was forbidden fruit.

Forbidden fruit was the tastiest of all.

One taste was all it took to fall.

Riario was falling and he knew it, yet still he tried to hold back. The hands were an extension of Leo's brilliant mind, necessary to bring his ideas to life, to sketch and carve and construct and deconstruct. To love those hands was no more sinful than to admire the mind which controlled their every movement. This was a lie he would cling to as long as he could.

"You are capable of great things too," Leo said, for he knew Riario was falling, and he was trying to hasten the descent, dragging Riario from the absolutes of doctrine and denial into his own chaotic, sinful paradise. Riario rejoiced in the praise, ignoring that he damned himself further for wanting and accepting Leo's approval. For wanting Leo's affection.

#

"Hands that are capable of such great things, such creation."

Riario kept admiring Leo's hands, the only part of Leo's body he allowed himself to touch. It was driving Leo mad with desire, the loving attention paid to every knuckle, every callous, every line in his palm.

Yet Leo couldn't help but admire Riario's own hands, usually adorned by a ring he would not tell the story of no matter how often Leo asked, dextrous hands that could slice flesh with a dagger as easily as they did fruit, nimble fingers that worked the rosary each night. Riario's quick mind and deft hands had proved before that, given basic instruction, he could operate, and attempt to repair, any of Leo's inventions.

What might Riario have become if he had not been drawn into the Church's clutches? Those hands might daub paint on canvas as well as Leo's own. Those fingers could easily pluck the strings of an instrument. Instead of being clasped in prayer, those hands could be exploring Leo's body.

Leo was trying to show Riario other ways to be, other joys. That they'd come this far, that Riario poured such affection onto Leo's hands of all things, was progress. Leo ached for more, but he forced himself to be patient.

"You are capable of great things too," Leo said softly. "We are more alike than either of us wants to believe."

He took one of Riario's hands in his own, nipped gently at the thumb, delighted in the look of surprise on Riario's face, surprise which gave way to pleasure.

"I almost believe you," Riario said.

"I will make you believe me," Leo promised. He would start with religious imagery, something Riario was familiar with, they would discuss light and shadow and colours and symbolism. They would try all the arts until they found one that Riario was most comfortable with, be it charcoal sketches or sculpture.

They would work together until Riario finally let Leo work on the piece of theatre he most wanted to perform. To take Riario to his bed.


	15. Unavailable, Leo/Riario/Zo & past Riario/Caterina Sforza,  prompt "May December Romance"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They can never have a wedding, but Zo points out that Leo is already married. And then Riario reminds them that he is also spoken for. Crack, what history, what timeline, what canon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the trope-bingo prompt "May December Romance." Thanks to [Idris-Eleven](http://idriseleven.tumblr.com/) for suggesting Riario/Caterina for the prompt. This is probably not at all what you expected!

"What are you thinking about?" Leo asked. Riario, lying next to him on the blanket, stared up at the stars.

"Things we've lost. Things we'll never have."

Leo took his hand, squeezed.

"Ugh, why do you always have to rain on the parade?" Zo complained from Leo's other side.

"Zo," Leo said, but there was never any warning in his tone now, only resignation.

"We're still here," Zo said. "The past is gone, and we're here, together. And what is it you want that you'll never have?"

Riario considered. "A loving father."

"Join the club," Zo scoffed.

Riario sighed. "There was a wedding," he said. "I passed the feast on my way here tonight."

Leo squeezed at his fingers. "Girolamo? Are you saying you want a wedding? You want us to be married?"

"It's impossible," Riario said.

Zo snorted. "Yes, impossible and inadvisable. Aren't things complicated enough without any of us trying to be anyone's husband? Anyway, Leo's already married. To Ima. Hope she fell down a volcano or something."

Leo blinked. "That wasn't real."

Zo laughed. "She thought it was. By her customs, you're her husband."

"I'm married too."

Riario's quiet declaration left the others stunned.

"Married? Who the hell would marry you?" Zo asked, sitting up.

"Zo!" Leo gave him a look.

Riario closed his eyes. "Caterina Sforza. It was arranged by our parents. How do you think I got to be Lord of Imola?" He opened his eyes and regarded Leo with puzzlement. "Don't you know this?"

Leo shook his head. "If I'm honest, I never cared much for nobles and your life stories and your scandals," he said.

"Sforza? Hang on," Zo said. "I know something about the family. She's gotta be…she's a child."

"No longer," Riario said. He sighed and released Leo's hand, sitting up and brushing at his creased jacket. "We were betrothed when she was just ten years old. I tried to care for her. I think I fell a little in love with her. As much as I thought I could ever love."

Leo shifted to kneel alongside Riario, wrapping one arm around his shoulders.

"Perhaps it was as much as I was capable of loving a woman," Riario said at last.

Zo shook his head. "Fuck," he said with obvious sympathy.

"She said she loved me," Riario went on, gazing into the distance. "I don't know if she meant it, or she was trying to believe it. When she came of age, we consummated the marriage. And so I'm not free to wed anyone else. No other woman. And certainly not a blasphemous union with a man, let alone two."

There was silence and then Zo said, "I wouldn't marry either of you bastards anyway," and Leo failed to smother a laugh. Riario smirked.

"Wait." Leo gave Zo a piercing look. "What about that woman in Modena?"

"I never went through with it! We only told her brothers we were going to get married so they didn't lynch me!" Zo folded his arms. "I'm still available."

Leo looked at Riario. "Did he just say that?"

"I'm afraid he did."

Zo realised his mistake too late. Leo and Riario were both on him in a second, pinning him to the blanket and claiming him as theirs. His protests eventually gave way to pleas for more, but only after making non-binding but unambiguous vows of love and loyalty to Leo and Riario both, was he allowed to experience sweet release.

"Isn't that mostly what people want?" Leo asked, as they all lay, dishevelled but happy, beneath the stars. "Normal people, not nobles looking for political alliances, I mean. Legal rights, yes, but mostly to have someone make promises to you and to have a party? Because we can do that. I can make vows. We can have a party."

Riario, now the other side of Zo, looked over at Leo. "A not-actually-a-wedding-feast? Why not."

Zo beamed. He liked the sound of that.


	16. The Spell, Riario, Leo, Zo, Nico, implied pairings, for a picture prompt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riario prepares a spell; Zo, who came up with the idea thinks it is hilarious until his prank backfires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [this picture prompt](http://romibsauce.tumblr.com/post/148498960620):  
> 

* * *

Grave dirt, blood from the Widow's Tear, a crystal bathed in light passed through the Sacred Lens of Atlantis, an incantation said while holding the Key...

Riario did as the faded parchment said, prepared a feast, sent out the invitation.

*

"He fell for it," Zo howled. "I can't believe he fell for it. Sacred Lens my ass. He's spent all day working on his little ritual."

"I was using that lens," Leo said pointedly. "I wish you'd chosen something else for your experiment that he needed to steal."

"I did a good job on the paper, didn't I?" Nico was eager not to be left out. "It looked old and the ink was perfect."

"Yes, Nico," Leo said. "Now tell me again what the 'spell' you two idiots made sure Riario acquired was for again?"

"To defeat your enemies," Zo said.

"Which explains why I've been invited to the feast peppered with grave dirt," Leo said, brandishing a parchment with Riario's elegant signature at the bottom.

Nico paled.

"Not peppered," Zo said. "Mix all the ingredients, say the incantation, set it all on fire, roll two candles in the ashes, and light them at a feast. Nico, what's wrong?"

Nico shook his head. "That's not the spell I wrote. I know you suggested that but I was using lines from a spell in a book of supposed magic for authenticity - I know, maestro, you said I wasn't supposed to read those books but I thought they were, you know. Not about magic. About, about, _sex_."

Leo rolled his eyes. "I don't care if you know about sex, Nico. But those books are mystical and even I wouldn't risk some of those incantations. So what did spell did you copy from the book?"

Nico bit at his lip. "For revealing and charming your true love."

Leo looked at him blankly.

"Fuck," Zo said. "He's messing with us, right? Riario knows it was us and he's messing with us, because otherwise...he surely can't think...Leo, say something."

"Maybe I will go to dinner," Leo said distantly.

Andrea bustled into the workshop, whistling cheerfully. He handed Zo a parchment. "For you, dear boy." He was the only person who could get away with addressing Zo as such.

Zo tore the seal open and looked queasy.

"Zo?" Nico asked.

"Dinner," Zo choked out. "Riario wants me at his dinner party too. He's messing with us, right?"

Leo shrugged. "Why don't you come to dinner and find out?"

Nico pouted, upset not to get an invite, Zo was still reeling and desperate to believe they'd been rumbled, and Leo - well, Leo was planning on what to wear.


	17. Sausages, established Zo/Leo/Riario, modern au, crack ficlet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crack ficlet. Relationships are hard work, especially when there are three people involved, and Zo has just made a mistake that could upset the fragile balance - or lead to a new understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr promo post](https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/158891533187/we-share-leo-that-ought-to-be-enough-zo)

"These are really different sausages," Leo said, chewing enthusiastically. "Interesting flavour. Where did you say you got them?"

Zo was about to tell him from the supermarket, same as the meat sausages, same as he always did. If the meat-substitute sausages tasted different that was nothing to do with him. But he'd just taken a bite of sausage himself, expecting meat, and finding it otherwise. He sought to keep the panicked look from his face.

Riario was watching proceedings with his usual mealtime detachment. Riario was not allowed to complain about the food, because if he didn't like it he could make it himself. They took turns cooking and interspersed the chore with takeaways and after a few teething problems it worked out fine.

A relationship was work and a relationship with three people in it was more so, but they were doing okay. Something like this could lead to an argument though and disturb the fragile balance.

"From the health food shop," Zo said with inspiration. "But they were on offer, that's why I got them, otherwise they'd be really expensive. Imported, exclusive things, hard to get hold of. Big carbon footprint actually. So don't get attached. You're not getting them again."

"Oh." Leo shrugged, finished his meal. He put his plate into the dishwasher – Riario had purchased it one week after moving in and it solved a lot of arguments, though Leo still never emptied it. He went back to the lounge and his latest painting.

Riario dabbed at his mouth with a serviette (Zo had drawn the line at napkins because who did laundry was another thing they'd had fierce negotiations about and he didn't need extra items stacking up) and sipped at his wine.

"You gave him the real sausages, didn't you? You and I both had one real and one substitute. I didn't comment at the time for fear it would be labelled complaining. Sloppy work, I fear."

"Sssh," Zo hissed. "Yes! I got muddled. It's never happened before, it won't happen again, and if you tell him I will kill you. I couldn't stand the wailing about having consumed something that once had eyes – and neither could you!"

Riario blinked lazily, nodded. "You want me to keep this a secret. I understand."

If the bastard wanted to have blackmail material on Zo, so be it. Sooner or later Riario would make a mistake and Zo would have something on him and they would be even. Petty scorekeeping had proved to be an important part of the relationship. Zo had even come to think of it as part of the excitement.

"Yes," Zo said. "I want you to keep quiet. For all our sakes."

Riario smiled. "It's not often we share such a bond."

"We share Leo. That ought to be enough," Zo snapped, getting up to begin clearing the table. He regretted his anger a moment later. Riario was trying, and this wouldn't work if Zo and Riario couldn't get along.

So when he'd loaded the dishwasher with the dirty plates and saucepans, he brought the wine over and topped up their glasses and sat opposite Riario once more.

"So, how was your day?" he asked, feeling somewhat silly and deliberately trying for a parody of the housewife's traditional refrain as if merely having fun.

But Riario understood his intent, leaning back in chair with a sigh. He began to tell Zo about his work truthfully and openly, sharing even his fears and doubts. In return, Zo listened patiently and said supportive things, and offered what advice he could.

"Zo, is there more wine?" Leo hollered from the living room half an hour later.

"There's another bottle in the fridge," Zo shouted back. "You come and get it. I'm not the maid and anyway, we're having a conversation here."

Riario lowered his gaze, but not before Zo caught the smile that came from him having Zo's attention.

Maybe they were doing even better than Zo had previously thought. Maybe this could work. And maybe next time he'd put Leo's fake sausages in a separate pan.


	18. The Steadfast Snake and the Dubious Dog (Leo, Riario, Zo; AU for the prompt "role reversal"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU in which Riario is Leo's friend and Zo is the sly newcomer with the second key.  
> For the trope bingo prompt "role reversal"

"Give it back," Leo said.

The man grinned, opened one brown hand to reveal the key in his palm. "Can't blame a man for trying."

Leo snatched the key back. "Zoroaster de Peretola," he said. "Thief, blasphemer, purveyor of false relics, known sodomite –"

"You have heard of me," Zo said impressed. "But come on. Aren't you guilty of most of those things yourself? Besides, artista, I have something you want."

He leaned in close, Leo's posture stiffening. "What could I want from you?"

"The other key," Zo said, his breath tickling Leo's cheek.

Leo's eyes widened. "I'm listening."

Zo stepped back and dangled a key in front of Leo. Leo opened his hand to check he still had the first key.

"If you want it, we'll have to work together," Zo said.

"You're in league with the false Pope," Leo said.

Zo scoffed. "So's your Papal lapdog."

"Girolamo…" Leo shook his head. "Fine. Meet me tomorrow and I'll show you my canon."

"Is that a euphemism?" Zo laughed at Leo's stony expression. "Tomorrow, artista."

* * *

"You can't trust him!" Riario paced the room.

Leo sighed. "Girolamo, sit. He has the other key, that's all. Once I have it, he's disposable. Once we have both keys it will be you, me, and Nico on a quest."

Riario stared at him. "I have risked everything for you," he said hoarsely.

Leo stood and put a comforting hand on Riario's shoulder. "What is this about?"

"He's a mongrel," Riario said, "a rogue. Not to be trusted."

"And?"

Riario's gaze faltered. "They say he's handsome," he said at last. "Bedded men and women by the dozen all across Italy."

Leo began to laugh, turned it into a cough. "Oh, Girolamo. Are you jealous?"

Riario shrugged Leo's hand from his shoulder and turned away.

"Don't sulk," Leo said. "You're my dearest friend. I'm not going to have my head turned by some guy with a beard and a shirt that barely does up more than my own!"

Riario glanced at him.

"It's all right," Leo soothed. "I'm not going to let him worm his way into our team or my affections."

* * *

"This is not the sort of gift I thought you meant," Leo said, shocked. Riario was so pleased with himself though that Leo couldn't muster up any anger.

"I know you're into all sorts of things," Zo said, from where he was standing, tied to a tree, "but I didn't know this one was so kinky."

Riario scowled. "Put the gag back in," he begged.

Leo sighed and took the key from around Zo's neck. He slackened off one of the knots, just a little. "There," he said. "A rogue like you should be able to work your way free."

"You're leaving?" Zo called as Leo and Riario headed off. "We could have so much fun. You and me, Leo. We'd be a great pair. The serpent can join in if he'd like, I'm not fussy!"

Riario shot Leo a mortified glance.

"I know, I should have put the gag back in," Leo sighed.

* * *

"Well, well," Zo said. "Isn't this nice. All of us back together."

"You threw me overboard," Riario yelled and Leo had to hold him back.

"I've heard you're a good swimmer. Wait that's a lie. But you've got the build for it," Zo said. "And it's not as if I tied your hands together. I'm not a monster."

Leo sighed. "He's part of this quest now, Girolamo. And see, he took care of Nico."

"Someone should," Nico groused. "I'm fine by the way."

Riario glared at Zo. "You had better sleep with one eye open, cur."

Zo winked at him. "Keep flirting like that and I'll stay awake just for you."

"Enough," Leo said before Riario could retort. "Can we all work together, just until we get the Book of Leaves and get out of here?"

Zo settled down on the floor of the cave. "As you wish, artista."

Riario gave a sullen nod. Nico rolled his eyes.

It would, Leo supposed, have to be enough.


	19. Another Way - tumblr gif post inspired, Leario

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the tumblr gif post [by girolamoriario](http://girolamoriario.tumblr.com/post/86111386783) and originally reblogged with the comment fic [here](http://leonardo-artista.tumblr.com/post/159159307839/leo-stepped-forward-put-one-hand-on-riarios)

  
[original post](http://girolamoriario.tumblr.com/post/86111386783)

Leo stepped forward, put one hand on Riario’s shoulder. Riario froze but Leo lifted his other hand to rest it gently on Riario’s cheek.

“You can’t believe that, surely? After everything we’ve been through, after everything you’ve suffered, and lost. That you are not deserving of mercy? That you deserve more punishment? No, Girolamo. No.”

Riario stared deep into Leo’s eyes. His lower lip quivered.

“Land Ho,” came the call but Leo did not move.

“Don’t go back to Rome.”

“Then where will I go?” Riario asked hoarsely.

“Wherever you want,” Leo said, his voice low, releasing Riario, giving him freedom, if he wanted it. “For now at least, come with me.”

Riario swallowed hard. Weighed up his options. Nodded.

Leo smiled in approval and pulled him into a hug.

“Leo, didn’t you hear -” Zo scowled as he peered down into the cabin and gave a heavy sigh. 

“We’ll be there in a moment,” Leo told Zo. He smiled at Riario.

_We._


	20. The Road to Vinci (Leo/Zo implied, Leo/Ima, Leo&Zo&Ima illustrated crack fusion with The Road to El Dorado)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An illustrated crack fusion between DvD and The Road to El Dorado

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title banner by the wonderful Tinamour, thank you!  
> All other illustrations are my own amateur work :)  
> For the trope bingo prompt au: fusion

"Relics, get your relics," Zo called.

"Treasure map, get your treasure map," Leo sang to the crowd.

Of the course the relics were bits of rabbit bone left over from Zo's supper and the map was something Leo had drawn up himself but a couple of shysters had to make a living.

Florentine guards closed in on them.

"That's him," one guard bellowed, pointing to Leo. "The flying bird you sold to Lorenzo de Medici exploded! You will pay for your crimes."

"Zo," Leo said.

"Run?"

"Run," Leo agreed and the pair dashed off towards the docks.

They climbed aboard a ship and hid in the hold until they were at sea. They were discovered when it was time for the grog to be passed around – Zo had been sipping it for some time. Leo tried to bluff the captain.

"Do you know who I am? I am Count Girolamo Riario, count and captain-general of the –"

Alfonso scoffed. "I know Riario well and you are not him, not to mention you were cowering below deck like the stowaways you are"

Alfonso drew his sword. Zo grabbed a weapon from a guard and tossed it to Leo. Leo and Alfonso fought while Zo dashed to a lifeboat and cut the ropes holding it. He jumped overboard and climbed, soaking wet, into the boat, yelling for Leo. Leo joined him and they rowed away.

One terrible storm later ("You just had to say things could be worse, didn't you, Leo?") they washed up on a beach.

"Zo, look. That temple in the distance is the same as I drew on my map!"

Zo shook his head. "You drank the seawater didn't you?"

Still he had to admit that the resemblance was remarkable and so they set off towards the temple.

"Hello," Leo called, waving to the tribesmen guarding the temple. "Oh, wow this carving looks like me and this is writing here is Italian."

"It doesn't look like you," Zo said.

Thankfully the natives agreed with Leo; the two mysterious strangers were hailed as gods.

Things were going well until Zo caught Leo playing hide the sausage with Ima, the only one who knew the truth about them (her father had been the high priest, had known Leo's mother and helped her make the carvings on the wall).

"Fuck you, Leo," Zo said and stormed off.

Zo soon came running back however. Alfonso's ship had reached the shore and the Italians were coming to ransack the temple.

Leo saved the day, setting off a landslide, and making parachutes for himself, Zo, and Ima to leap from the clifftop afterwards. The temple was cut off from the outside world now.

"What now?" Zo asked. They'd stolen horses from the Italian camp on the beach and were riding out west.

"I don't know. Have more adventures I suppose," Leo said.

"There is a story of your mother and how she hid a treasure in a cave far west from here," Ima said.

Zo sighed.


	21. Bio Poem - Leonardo

For a [gameofcards](http://gameofcards.livejournal.com) challenge, write a[ bio poem](http://www.readwritethink.org/files/resources/lesson_images/lesson398/biopoem.pdf) for a character  
  
Da Vinci’s Demons: Leonardo da Vinci

Leonardo  


Inventive, reckless, ambidextrous, genius

Son of Piero, brother of Sophia, student of Andrea

Lover of Lucrezia, devoted friend of Zoroaster, once friend to Lorenzo

Who dreamt the impossible and dared to try and change the world

He feared the misuse of his work, of being forgotten, of never having enough time to complete all the things he wished to accomplish

Artist of the Mona Lisa, designer of the tank, the parachute, the hang-glider

He sought to bring creation to life, he reached for the stars, believing man would fly

Born in Vinci, but a Son of Florence 

Ser Piero da Vinci


	22. The Pact (Zo & Riario, game of cards challenge)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the game of cards mini bingo prompt "Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another."  
> Canon AU. Riario finds Zo in his room and discovers a few other things too.

"What are you doing in my room?"

Zo swore to himself, straightened up from the dresser, pasted on a smile and turned to face Riario. "Would you believe I'm your new manservant?"

"No."

Zo shrugged. The window was small and too high to escape from and Riario was blocking the doorway, one hand resting on the hilt of his sword. He couldn't run.

"What if I said I'm infatuated with you?" In for a penny…

Riario's cheek twitched. He advanced slowly towards Zo. "Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another."

"That sounds deep and meaningful," Zo said.

"It means I don't like liars." Riario was so close now, large brown eyes boring into Zo's.

"What about, a guest never forgets the host who has treated him kindly?"

That surprised Riario and he tipped his head. "You know Homer?"

"I know many things. Leo's not the only one who can read, you know." Zo folded his arms, not having to manufacture his indignation.

"I have underestimated you," Riario allowed. "It shall not happen again. Now, what are you doing here? Stealing something? Or leaving something behind?"

Zo's brow crinkled. "What would I leave?"

Riario lifted one shoulder. "Something to frame me for a crime. A poison tipped dagger I might cut myself on. A serpent in my bed."

Zo blinked. "That sounds paranoid."

"You think there have never been attempts on my life?"

Zo hadn't thought about it before. "I was looking for anything that might help us find the Book of Leaves," he said, choosing the truth. "Leo's obsessed with it and that never ends well. The sooner he finds the Book, the better for everyone."

"So this is an act of friendship?"

"Yes."

Riario let out a long sigh. "Leonardo does not realise how fortunate he is, to inspire such loyalty. A sympathetic friend can be quite as dear as a brother."

More Homer. Zo nodded.

"However I have nothing to give; I search for the Book too," Riario said. "There is in fact only one thing I can offer. That we make a truce and work together to find the Book. For Leonardo's sake. For all our sake's."

Zo scoffed. "And what happens when we find it?"

"That bridge will be crossed once we come to it."

Zo considered for a long moment. "One more Homeric verse; swear an oath to use all your eloquence and strength to look after me and protect me.” 

Riario gave a delighted laugh. "That is your price? To guard you and, I assume, Leonardo? It is done. But in return, you will refrain from violence towards me."

Zo held out his hand. "It's a deal."

They shook hands. For better or worse, a pact was made.


	23. Give Me That - 3 sentence fic, Zo & Riario, crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the 3 sentence fic 2017 prompt Any, Any, Give me that. You obviously have no idea how to work this thing.

"Give me that," Zo said, snatching the Improved Incense Censer from Riario's hands, adding, "You obviously have no idea how to work this thing!"

Riario had been holding it wrong, and pressing the lever and the button seperately instead of together, and Zo knew it worked like this...

"Yes," Riario said in amusement, as the dust settled and Zo coughed, covered head to foot in incense powder, "I see now that you are the expert in using Leonardo's inventions."

[original comment thread at livejournal](https://caramelsilver.livejournal.com/151620.html?thread=5926212#t5926212)


	24. To Friendship - Zo&Nico, one-sided Zo/Leo, for the prompt enamour me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt "enamour me, Zo&Nico, not necessarily romance"

"Here, I got you a drink," Zo said, as Nico joined him at the table.

"Thanks."

Nico was Leo's new apprentice. Zo found the idea laughable given Leo's haphazard approach to his own work, let alone the prospect of teaching anyone else, but Nico was doing well and Andrea seemed to be picking up the slack.

Zo and Leo had been friends for years – and Zo wanted more than that but Leo didn't seem to. Nico's arrival had made Zo suspicious, wondering if Leo's taking on a student was influenced by his attraction to the young man. Yet that didn't seem to be the case.

So Zo had been trying to push aside his wariness and befriend Nico. He was short and blonde, almost feminine featured, with a kind smile and an enthusiasm for Leo's every clever or ridiculous idea that endeared him to Zo.

He'd asked Nico here tonight to talk to him alone, to get to know who Nico was besides a bright student infatuated with Leo on an intellectual, if not physical, level.

"I'm glad you asked me here," Nico said. He took a sip of his ale. "You and Leo are such good friends. You're an important part of his life. I think if I'm to be not just a student but some part of Leo's life, I need to get to know you."

Zo was surprised and pleased by this admission. He sought refuge in his own drink for a moment, thrown off-kilter.

"Leo is," Zo began and hesitated. "Leo is a genius. And being around him makes everything seem important and exciting and possible. But he's also temperamental – goes with the territory, I guess. He'll snap at you for things that aren't your fault. He'll demand things of you. He's a good man but he's not always the easiest person to love."

"You love him though."

God, the kid was insightful.

"Yes," Zo said shortly and took another drink. "But it's complicated."

"Leo sees everything except what is right in front of him," Nico mused. "Thank you for the warning. I won't take offence when he's angry with me for no reason."

"Good."

They sat in silence for a while.

"Tell me about yourself," Nico said. "Leo gave you my story when he introduced us, but he never told me yours."

"Well that's more complicated than me and Leo."

"Whatever you want to share," Nico said. "If we're to be friends, we ought to share some things."

Zo picked up his tankard. "To friendship," he said and Nico toasted with him.

"So," Zo began. "I was born far from here…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also posted to tumblr: http://leonardo-artista.tumblr.com/post/171893567659/to-friendship-da-vincis-demons-zonico


End file.
